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Save our SkoolzSmell the Coffee









While the world waits for Congressional Republicans to find a way out of the Homeland Security Funding mess, let’s take a look at the budget situation right here in the land of cactus and kitty litter.

I think there are signs that even our head-up-their-Keister Legislature is smelling something, and it ain’t coffee: It’s molten tar, bundles of feathers, and hordes of angry villagers who believe AZ ought to spend more money on education, not prisons.

Not too long ago, 233 school administrators rustled up enough gumption to stand up and complain about a state budget that – yet again – reduces funding for education. Despite the Tooth Fairy Math that our Cold Stones governor continues to use, he’s forcing schools to hack away at funding for heating and cooling, school buses, libararies and school lunch programs.

Da Guv keeps blithering that he’s just forcing schools to transfer more money to classrooms, but we, the AZ citizens, don’t find the math to be that hard. If Ducey tells schools to cut non-classroom spending by 5 percent, and your average school district spends 7 to 10 percent on administration, the money will come out of stuff that keep students warm in the winter, cool in the heat, and ensures they’ll get at least one decent meal a day.

If you don’t think that message has been delivered, ask yourself why the dark dough forces of evil are trying to push back with robocalls and other lies propaganda.

While you’re at it, ask yourself why such a big crowd showed up at the Capital earlier this week to protest education cuts. By the way, there will be more such demonstrations next week. Stay tuned.

And now comes ASU Prez Michael Crow, sending out an email that blisters Gov. Cold Stones for sending “signals to the state and the nation that higher education is a low priority in Arizona.” He got to be the head of a major university because he is a skilled nose-counter and  a savvy leader. He wouldn’t have sent out that email if he didn’t check with the boys and girls in the back room first. The fact that they signed off on his complaint is clear evidence that the business elite don’t like these budget cuts any more than your average parent of school-age kids.

And then there was one of my personal favorite messages, this from from Mark Killian, a member of the Board of Regents and a former Speaker of the House. Mark ain’t no liberal. I can still remember him getting all teary-eyed when the House voted to impeach former Gov. Ev Mecham.

Killian was OK with semi-reasonable education cuts when he was in the Lege, so when even he says that higher education cuts violate that pesky clause in the State Constitution – the one that says an Arizona university education must be “nearly as free as possible”  – well, it’s time to pay attention.

Now the Regents are on record. They ain’t gonna raise tuition.

But there are other ways to boost costs that haven’t been ruled out. We’re talking “lab fees,” and cuts in financial aid, to name just two ways that can keep that promise while still raising the cost of a college degree.

Now let’s not get carried away here. It’s clear that the will of the average Arizonan doesn’t matter to the Legislature. That’s why they keep trying to repeal voter-mandates establishing the Clean Elections System, making it harder to vote, and they’re trying to re-legalize payday loans that charge triple-digit interest rates – even though voters banned them just a few years ago.

That’s because too many serfs don’t vote. The Lege can screw them over without paying a price, since the right-wing wing nuts who control Republican primaries have a very different agenda.

But when the ruling class gives a green light to K-12 schools and universities to stand up and hollar out loud about education cuts, something is going on.

Word down at the Capital is that the budget continues to move through the legislative digestive system and will soon be dumped on our heads. But ya gotta wonder: what are our legislators saying behind closed doors?

Will they REALLY stand up and support a budget that increases class sizes, defunds libraries and school lunches, and makes it even costlier to get a college degree?

I guess we’ll see. I think the aroma of burning tar and singed feathers is wafting up to the noses of our Klown Kar Legislature. I won’t be surprised if we soon hear noise about a revolt against those education cuts.


Chuck Todd won't correct the record

I’m still fuming over efforts by Gov. Cold Stones and his lackies to sell us BS while telling us it’s chocolate ice cream.

An article in the Tuesday Arizona Republic reports that the Dark Dough dirtbags ain’t backing down. They’ll keep making robocalls. They’ll try to convince people that public schools waste our tax dollars.

They’re telling a big lie. They’re saying that less than half of education spending actually reaches the classroom. Most of the rest is “wasted” on such useless frills as heating and cooling, school buses, student assistance and libraries.

Of course they leave out that stuff about school lunches, school buses and student assistance spending. That would only confuse people. We can’t handle the truth, apparently.

The calls are being engineered by Mr. Sean Not-So-Noble, paid shill of the Koch evil empire and Gov. Cold Stone’s personal Rasputin. Mr. (Ig)Noble says he’s just exercising a First Amendment right to bury truth under a blanket of fertilizer.

“Having a discussion about important policy is now political intimidation?” Mr. (Ig)Noble told the Republic’s Yvonne Wingett Sanchez (presumably with a straight face). “Do school districts actually spend enough (money) in the classroom?” Noble asked. “I think not.”

Now Wingett Sanchez is a diligent reporter, someone who is willing to go elbows deep into the muck to dig out the truth.

But she failed on this mission. Instead of trying to ferret out the truth, she dutifully did a point-counterpoint.

Mr. (Ig)Noble got to spew his lies. A spokeswoman for Mesa Schools was allowed to issue a tepid statement noting that “critical support services for our students and teachers in the classroom will be diminished” if the Cold Stones budget takes effect. A seemingly neutral “expert” from ASU’s Morrison Institute for Public Policy dismissed the whole thing as business as usual. “They (Noble and the Koch evil empire) put him in office and they want him to look good,” said David Berman, author of a paper on dark money.

Where does that leave the hapless readers? Well, they can only conclude that some people say it’s a good thing. Some say it’s a bad thing. And an expert says it’s just the way things work.

Uh, how about a little digging?

As I noted earlier this week, the facts are just a hyperlink away. Noble and Gov. Cold Stones say the school bureaucrats fritter away our tax dollars instead of putting them into the classroom. Yet an Arizona Auditor General’s report says that Mesa spends just seven percent of its budget on administration.

Read that again, please.

  • Mr. (Ig)Noble’s anti-education robocall says that “nearly two-thirds of Mesa’s education dollars never reach the classroom.”
  • The auditor General says this excludes spending on programs that helps students, feeds students, and buses them to school every day.
  • The actual cost of overhead in Mesa Schools is seven percent, not the 66 percent alleged by Mr. (Ig)Noble.

As a result, some of the sewage being spewed by Mr. (Ig)Noble is sticking to its victim. According to Mesa’s spokeswoman, the district received 15 messages in response to those rorocalls

Nine of them supported the district. Five callers buy into the roboball BS. One caller couldn’t figure out who was right.

In other words, about one out of three callers couldn’t figure out that the robocalls were unadulterated bullshit.

I don’t blame the callers. At least they cared enough to listen. Most readers of the morning paper simply shrugged their shoulders and finished their breakfast.

Now I get it. I really do. Reporting is hard. Digging through the dirt is difficult, and all it gets is calls to your editor complaining about your “bias.”

But that’s the media’s job. Or at least it used to be.

In these days of money-losing journalism and newsroom budget cuts, it’s easier to “report both sides, and let the reader decide.”

The media are forced by dwindling resources to transcribe  clashing talking points.

Or as Chuck Todd, the worthless windbag who hosts NBC’s Meet Da Press likes to say, it’s not his job to sort out the truth.

Well, whose job is it? And how does an informed citizen decide?

I guess that’s just another unanswered question




US - AZ abortion rates

Since this is Arizona, no legislative session can be complete until the Lege throws a bloody bone to  their ideological masters at the Center for Arizona Policy. That’s the all-powerful pack of “pro-family” polemicists run by Kathy Herrod.

Their stated goal, from CAP’s very own website:

The sanctity of human life should be protected from its very beginning to it’s natural end.

In other words, any abortion is one too many. Every pregnancy is a gift from God. Throwing away such a sacred gift ain’t just a sin. It’s a crime, a case of genocide.

So I guess CAP wants to eliminate abortions. All of them. No exceptions for rape or incest. Exceptions tisane a mom’s life? Hmmm. Tough one.

To achieve its goal of ending abortion, CAP has gotten its Lege lap-dogs to apply an ever-tightening clamp on a woman’s legal right to make this heart-rending decision. Yup, the forces of less gummint can’t interfere enough when a woman consults with her family, and her doctor, on this toughest of tough decisions.

The lege has ordered doctors to make a woman hear a fetal heartbeat. They’ve demanded that girls be lectured before they can terminate. Doctors who insist on providing this sinful procedure have been badgered and bullied. Organizations like Planned Parenthood (Booooo!) have been demonized and forced to comply with rules that make it nearly impossible to provide access to this procedure.

You’d think by now that they’ve run out of new restrictions. Silly hippy! This year’s clamp on abortion rights: Health insurance programs, especially those funded by that evil Kenyan-style Obamacare, must be prohibited from covering the cost of an abortion!

There. That’ll bring the abortion rate down nearly to Zero!

Uh, Not really.

See the chart above.

Now let’s be accurate as well as fair here, my fellow hippies. The AZ abortion rate has plummeted from nearly 23 per 1,000 women aged 15-44 here to just about 12.7. That’s a 53 percent drop! Not too shabby if you’re heck-bent on eliminating the procedure!

What’s that? CAP’s jihad on choice has nothing to do with this drop?

Why not?

Well, the national abortion rate has fallen even faster, from 26.3 per 1,000 reproductive-age women to 16.9. That’s down 62 percent.

Chew on that for a second. Abortion rates in the nation as a whole have dropped further and faster than here in pro-life AZ. Fifty three percent vs. 62 percent.

So; if the CAP’s draconian war on choice is supposed to be making abortions go away, it just ain’t working!

Well, why the heck not?

The answer may lie in teen pregnancy rates.

Take a gander:

Teen pregnancy

As it shows, Arizona ranks third nationally in teen pregnancy rates. Now our all-knowing Lege has funded – and mandated – high school programs designed to get teens to keep an asprin between their knees. Pledge to your sweet loving daddy that you’ll  save it for marriage!

Just don’t provide any accurate information about reproduction and/or successful contraception. Information like that would just encourage  them raging adolescent hormones!

Ignorance is bliss!

Uh, Nope. Sees that doesn’t work. either. Otherwise we would have so many teens killing da rabbit.

In other words, maybe if the Lege spent more time trying to figure out how to keep teenagers from getting pregnant … maybe by, oh, I dunno … MAKING IT EASIER TO OBTAIN CONTRACEPTION .. we might have fewer teen parents, and maybe even fewer abortions.

Nah! That’s heathen talk, amiright?



Sean Noble uses Koch money to spread the bullshit deep and thick.

Gov. Cold Stones uses Koch money to spread the bullshit deep and thick.

When you’re selling a lie, don’t back down. Just keep saying it as loudly and as frequently as you can. If you’re a skilled liar, or if you just use the biggest megaphone money can buy, it just might stick.

Gov. Doug Cold Stones Ducey and his dark dough dirtbags are skilled liars – and they have the resources they need. The Koch evil empire ships money to Arizona by the trainload. That allows the Duceyites to buy megaphones at wholesale rates.

Take education. Gov. Cold Stones keeps saying he’s increasing education funding. Never mind that it ain’t true. Ignore the fact that fewer dollars will be going into education under next year’s Cold Stones state budget.

Last week 233 school superintendents around the state sent out parent letters in an effort to point out the truth: Ducey’s budget will cut $113 million from education. That’s on top of massive cuts already in place that have put Arizona near the very bottom in terms of per capita student spending.

Now the Duce’s dirtbags are answering back with an under-the-radar robocall campaign. They’re trying to sell a flat-out lie.

The bullshit is being spread by Sean Noble’s Conservative Encore, one of the many Koch tentacles that is strangling the middle class and is trying to re-establish the 19th Century Robber Baron class.

If you believe the media, the calls so far have targeted just the Mesa Unified School District’s Michael Cowan.

But remember that Cowan is just one of 233 Arizona school superintendents trying to turn this tidal wave of sludge. The anti-Cowan robocall managed to find its way to the media because it targets an area where journalists live. if you think the other 232 superintendents won’t face this same counterattack, you just ain’t paying attention.

The lie is that Mesa School district “spends nearly half its entire budget outside the classroom.” Mr. Not-so-Noble’s website also alleges that “nearly two-thirds of Mesa’s education dollars never reach the classroom. This is a major departure from national standards and is unacceptable for Arizona students.”

Now this is total, unadulterated bullshit. They’re telling you it’s chocolate ice cream, but don’t let the color fool ya.

You’re calling our Governor and his fine public servants a bunch of liars? Them’s strong words. Prove it, ya hoary old hippy reprobate!


I refer you to an Arizona Auditor General’s Report on the Mesa district. Among the expenses that “never reach the classroom” are the following:

  • Plant Operations consume 10.8 percent of their budget. That’s heating, air conditioning, electricity. That stuff “never reaches the classroom?” They don’t heat or cool classrooms?
  • Transportation consumes 6.2 percent. That’s school buses and some maintenance vehicles. I guess they actually don’t reach the classrooms . They just transport kiddos to and from the classrooms.
  • Instruction support: 6.9 percent. Student support: 6.5 percent. These are programs to help kids who are struggling,  those who excel, and those who have a special talent, such as art or music, to nurture those skills.
  • Food Service: Lunches and stuff eat up 5.4 percent. That’s money that reaches student bellies,  I guess those stomachs are not “reaching the classroom.”

So. When they tell you money ain’t going to classrooms, that’s what they mean.

Now some may say that ain’t a lie. It’s just a distortion.

No. It’s flat-out bullshit intended to make it sound like money is being wasted on red tape and fancy salaries for administrators. I mean, ya know that Cowan Superintendent makes a decent buck, right?

Yeah. He makes about $198,000.

But Mesa is the largest school district in the state. Its overall administrative spending  is 7.9 percent. That’s all administrative staff, from the superintendent down to assistant principles.

It comes to about $611 per pupil. How does that compare?

Well, the statewide average for administrative spending is $640 per pupil. The nationwide average is $1,138. In other words Mesa administrative costs are below the statewide average, AND that’s about HALF the national average. Look at the Auditor General’s report. See it for yourself.

So when you hear Ducey and his fellow dirtbags allege that money is being “wasted” on non-classroom spending, don’t swallow it. And when you hear that about 50 cents out of every school dollar doesn’t reach the classroom, don’t eat that stuff either. It comes from that feedlot where the bulls go to the bathroom.

It’s a lie. It’s a deep carpet of bullshit speed on the face of reality to sell you on efforts to starve public schools to death.

It’s more than shameful. It’s a flat-out assault on the education system that has made our country rich, and created a solid middle class.

You bought Sean Noble’s bullshit when you elected Ducey. Don’t buy it when it comes to school funding.


Neanderthal education







Being a veteran journalist, Laurie Roberts just can’t resist the fun of grabbing some popcorn and savoring the Ducey-Douglas Tempest in a Teabag.

Since she’s also smarter than the average mama grizzly, however, Laurie also connects some of the dots.

Just like all Journalists, Laurie can’t resist a good pissing match. Da media continue to watch gleefully as our Cold Stones Governor and our Tin Foil Superintendent of Public Instruction trade cream pie barrages.

And they pretend that this feud is important, when in fact it’s just another termite mound on a compost heap.

So let’s review today’s turn of the screwballs. Two Board of Education staff, who arguably don’t work for the Superintendent, were scheduled to return to work today, even though Diane Douglas tried to fire them.

Douglas let them in the building today, but she also set ground rules: Tell her what their daily schedule is. Don’t talk to her staff without permission. Let her know when they clock in, clock out, when they go to lunch – and probably when they go potty.

Laurie and I were both around in the Halcyon Days when Arizona’s infamous goofball Governor was Ev Mecham. He covered his window with tin foil, said nice things about pickanninies, and told journalists “Don’t ever ask me for a true statement again.”

Sigh. Those were the days.

But Laurie also knows that in the grand scheme of things, the Ducey-Douglas feud is just another circus side-show. I prefer  “Tempest in a Tea Bag.”

The real issue is our schools, and how our Cold Stones Governor and our pro-ignorance Legislature are doing everything they can to drain them of money.

The good news: These guys are dumber than the average cauliflower.

The bad news: They’re following the instructions of some smart-but-soulless people who do the bidding of the Koch Brothers and their shell organizations, including the Republican Governor’s Association and ALEC.

As Laurie notes in her latest column:

Public schools are being underfunded to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars while Ducey and the Arizona Legislature press ahead with the state’s latest round of tax cuts.

Yup. The Cold Stones state Budget, which is slipping through the Lege like Ex-Lax through a goose, cuts K-12 funding by Public schools by $13.5 million. Universities will lose at least $75 million, though the GOP Neanderthals think that’s not anti-knowledge enough. (Talk about the Know Nothing Party).

Oh, and the legislation we all knew was coming is finally crawling out from under its rock. Sen. Debbie Lesko, R-sold her soul to the Kochs, is pushing SB1434.

It would greatly expand access to Vouchers, which is just another way of taking money out of the pockets of state taxpayers and giving it to parents who want to send their kids to a private school.

As Laurie notes in a different column:

Currently, just over 1,200 students have ESAs, at a cost to the state of about $16.2 million, according to the state Department of Education. But under state law, as many as 15,000 students could set up ESAs, growing by an additional 5,500 a year until 2019, when the cap expires.are being underfunded to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars while Ducey and the Arizona Legislature press ahead with the state’s latest round of tax cuts.

Now Laurie poses an obvious question: Who in the hell elected these idiots?

Uh, that would be me and you. Now I could truthfully note that I didn’t vote for any pro-voucher candidates. I think. My primary legislator is Rep. Eric Meyer, D-rational human. Beyond him I voted for a Dem. for the State Senate. She’s a nice lady who never stood a chance. I didn’t pick a second House candidate, because I believe in the Single Shot strategy.

I gotta try to ‘splain that strategy one of the days.

But nonetheless, we, the collective known as AZ voters, elected a Klown Kar steered by Ducey stooges.

And they are hell-bent on destroying public schools.

Maybe Arizona voters will figure that out one of these days.

But I’ve grown old waiting for Godot, so I ain’t holding my breath.


Ducey is DuceyedDouglas is duceyed







I keep trying – and failing – to give a diarrhea dump about the Ducey-Douglas feud.

I mean I understand why da media scum are so enthralled. Journalists feed on controversy the way buzzards feed on road-kill. That’s why they pounced so hungrily on the fight over who gets to fire a couple of bureaucrats who work for the state Board of Education.

Now if I were one of these two bureaucrats, members of their family or maybe even one of their colleagues, I might give a damn. Other than that … can anyone tell me what the state Board of Education actually does?

No? I can’t either, and I’m a hopeless political junkie who prides himself on understanding bureaucratic minutia.

So countless trees give up their lives, and many television ads for cars, “ask-your-doctor-about-it” drugs and the furniture deal of the century are wrapped around breathless reports about what Douglas said about our Cold Stones Governor, or what the Duce and his minions had to say about the power of the Schools Superintendent to hire and fire people.

Will any of this plug the massive sink hole that is sucking money out of our K-12 schools or our community colleges or universities?

Will it impact the brain drain of teachers who flee their profession?

Will it help our youngest adults and kiddos develop skills needed to earn a decent living or bring decent-paying jobs to this land of Cactus, kitty litter and rock?

Uh, that would be a no.

So really. Who cares? What does it matter?

It doesn’t. But it’s a lot easier to rewrite dueling press releases than it is to delve into the dire need to fund education.

So expect to read more about Ducey and Douglas hurling chocolate ice cream at each other. It sure beats reporting on issues that really matter to people.

Neanderthal education

Let’s not talk about a “war on women…”

… or an “envy budget …”

… or faux outrage because Obama noted that ALL religious faiths have bloody hands

Let’s talk about the war on intelligence, the campaign to gut all education funding.

You see it everywhere in my beloved Arizona:

  • The Gov. Cold Stones budget forces schools to cut funding for special programs, heating/cooling and libraries – and he uses pretzel logic to contend he’s “increasing” education funding.
  • He wants to cut another $70 million from university funding, bringing the total cuts to universities since 2009 to nearly a half-billion bucks.
  • If the universities are lucky, that’s all that will be cut. According to today’s Arizona Republic the Board of Regents is pleading with the lege not to cut any deeper. Lege leaders ain’t making such a  commitment.
  • Da Prez proposes universal access to free community colleges, based on the ridiculous principle that just about any decent job  requires technical skills or some additional training. The GOPers throw rotten fruit.
  • Speaking of AZ community colleges, their support from the state has all but evaporated. It’s down to 2.5 percent. They’ll come back for the remaining crumbs in the near future.
  • We’re only starting to see legislative efforts this session to increase transfers of state  tax dollars to private schools. It’s a little early to predict what will pass, but make no mistake. For-profit education will get more money, and it will come at the expense of public school districts.
  • Given all these assaults, the only avenue open to school districts are bond issues and so-called “overrides,” in which school districts must convince voters to raise their own taxes or watch local schools  starve to death. Two bills, SB1172 and SB1173, have been introduced by Sen. John Kavanagh, R-Private prisons yes/schools no. Both make it harder to pass school bonds or overrides.

Need I go on? I mean I can, but seriously …

Now, a cynical SOB like myself would love to argue that by making people stoopid, GOPers are plotting to increase their voting base.

With great difficulty, I’ll resist that temptation.

Taken at face value, Republicans think any gummint spending is wasteful. That’s why they keep repeating the misleading number that about half of our tax dollars actually reach classrooms. Most of the remainder goes to counseling, libraries physical plant, school buses, etc. In fact private school spend twice as much on administrative overhead compared with public schools.

Nonetheless, the impact remains the same. The public education system that literally turned this nation into a world power, both economically and militarily, is under assault.

We’ve got to fight back. Make them stop the war on intelligence.

I think they arrested dad


I worked for the state of Arizona for about 15 years – 12 of them with agencies that dealt with damaged kids.

I’m thinking about this as I read about a lawsuit accusing the state of Arizona of failing to provide sufficient care to foster kids. The lawsuit raises valid points. The foster-care system is fraught with problems.

These children deserve better.

Before we judge, however, let’s take a look at the foster care merry-go-round.

1. That old chestnut from the Clinton years is correct. It takes a village to raise children. The village idiots, drug addicts and mentally challenged still give birth. When they can’t care for their offspring, someone must step in.

2. Deciding how to handle these kids is tough. Solomon-like decisions must be made. Is it best to get children out of potentially dangerous situations? Leave the kids in a home fraught with risks? Try to find help for a family in crisis? Find a close relative – a grandparent, uncle, aunt or adult sibling – to take in the children of villagers in crisis?

3. No matter how you choose, it’s a crap shoot. Someone will criticize you. Take a kid out of a home, and you’re at fault for breaking up a family. Leave them in the home, and then they could be abused, hurt – or even killed. It’s all your fault. Leave them in the hands of a close relative. It might turn out that the grandparent, aunt or adult siblings have similar problems. If  kids gets hurt, it’s all your fault.

4. Damaged homes create damaged kids. No matter what anyone does, children in crisis accumulate deep wounds. Some wounds heal. Many won’t. All of them shape behavior for a lifetime.

5. Foster families are always in short supply. Taking in a damaged child is an all-consuming task. Damaged children lie, steal, throw tantrums, or try to harm other children in every way imaginable. They may need medication. They almost certainly need counseling. They will take out their frustrations and inflict pain on the people who take them in.

6. Helping a damaged child is more rewarding than anyone can imagine. It wasn’t part of my job description, but I loved to work one-on-one with kids who liked to write. They’d produce deep, insightful short stories, or poetry in the form of rap. They produce beautiful art. I treasure one photo drawn for my by a teenaged girl. As she drew that picture she told me  she was going to take her own life. There was nothing anyone could do about it. We kept her alive anyway.

7. Society can never do enough to help these kids. They are a bottomless pit of need. Instead of trying to give them something, however, we sometimes give them nothing.

8. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. Some are better off if they stay with their parents, and the family receives help. Some are best served if they are removed and placed with foster parents. Some have acute needs that can only be addressed in group-home settings. The tough part is making the correct choice. And you’ll never know if you were right or wrong.

9. Many kids will not be saved. The damage may be too deep. Their formative years were spent in situations where drugs, poverty, despair, criminal activity and cruelty were the norm. They learn wrong lessons that last a lifetime. They go to prison. They use drugs and commit crime. They become abusive parents.

10. Many kids are saved. I met foster kids who earned scholarships, went to college, became artists, musicians, physicians or social workers. I’ve seen damaged people work desperately to spare their own children from the same pain and suffering. I’ve seen stunted childhoods yield beautiful human beings. We need to save more kids.

11. Foster parents are saints. Some of the best can only be described as eccentric. Since they don’t fit all of society’s norms they relate well to the struggles of the kids they take in. In general, some of the best are gay people, those recovering from various addictions, people who love comics, cosplay, science fiction, chess or sports. These passions help children overcome the ghosts that haunt them.

12. Some may think I’m arguing that this is an impossible task. Wrong. We can do better, and save more kids.

We MUST do better.


Legislative pie thowing


For the past few weeks there’s been a buzz around the padded cells halls of the legislature: The Loony-Tunes Caucus was locked in a closet until the Super Bowl completed its run through Phoenix Glendale The Valley of the Sun.

Well, now  the whole world is second-guessing the Seattle Seahawks for  a pass play in the closing seconds, and the New England Patriots pushed enough deflated footballs through the end zone to eke out a win.

On Monday everyone fled back to the rain and the snow of their home towns, so the coast is clear.

So: Unleash the Loons down at the Capitol. Boy, were they busy in that darkened closet.

According to the Arizona Capitol Times, that tip sheet for lobbyists, bureaucrats and brain-addled political junkies, there’s a whole bunch of  stuff that’s tumbling out of that hole in the padded walls.

This is just the first wave of muck that will be thrown at the law of the land. Still to come are bills to legalize discrimination against those ghey people (since it worked so well the last time), and efforts to push more money toward privately owned schools – and away from public education.

But let’s deal with the first wave of sludge. It includes the annual assaults on Arizona Clean Elections, a system that means well but is usually ignored. I mean, who wants to take a few pennies from the public when you can bury your nose in the underwear of the Koch Brothers – amiright, Gov. Cold Stones?

OK. Let’s go the turds that that floated to the top of the Yellow Sheet, a publication-only tip sheet distributed by Cap Times:

2014 Klown Car

1. This year’ FIRST effort to make it harder to vote if you’re brown.

Sen. Don Shooter, who used to be a Yuma farmer (I think he’s out of that business) is a delight to journalists. If he isn’t showing up in a Sombrero and Serape to express his viewpoint on anti-immigration legislation, he’s bum-rushing teachers who were mean to his relatives, or he’s weaving around a bar with a bottle of booze purchased by someone else.

This year Shooter is taking aim at people who gather up SEALED ballots to make sure votes are counted. These  often come from Latinos who want to vote, but are often too busy working 14-hour days and dodging questionable traffic stops by Sheriff Joe’s storm troopers.

Shooter is worried that them-thar brown ballots are getting messed with before they’re turned in and co-mingled with righteous white ballots. Never mind that the brown ones are sealed and signed by the voter. It still might allow Dimmocrats to collect a few more votes, so we can’t let that happen!

Shooter’s proposal is to revive a bill that has already fallen afoul of those libruhl Civil Rights trouble-makers in Washington. They worry that it violates minority voting rights – as if that’s something  the AZ Legislature should worry about.

Shooter is reviving legislation that would require ANYONE who turns in more than 10 ballots at an election office to provide proof of identity. Then their names and photos would be posted on a website.

How could that ever go wrong?

No one has ever found evidence that people who collect these ballots are playing shifty games. But so what? “Just because you’re not finding it (ballot tampering) doesn’t mean it didn’t happen,” says Shooter, who somehow equates this to Al Capone getting jailed for tax fraud, not racketeering (Huh?)

Of course, if you don’t find evidence of a crime, reasonable people (in other words, no GOPer legislator) might think it means no crime was committed. But what do they know?

2. Gut Clean Elections, Tell the Suckas it’s for the kids.

Sen. Steve Pierce is a Prescott-area rancher who was ousted from leadership because he wasn’t crazy or mean enough. Well, don’t be misled. Pierce does have a couple of mean bones in that cowboy body.

He is introducing SCR1001. It’s was tried before – unsuccessfully – but now we’re entering a brave new world of Guv Cold Stones, so who knows?

Currently, Clean Elections gets a pittance of money from a 10 percent surcharge on civil and criminal court fees. Pierce wants to take that dough and give to the starving schools.

Now of course we all know this Legislature wouldn’t allow the schools to get more money, so you can bet the mortgage that any school funding from court fees would be deducted from other revenue sources.

As for Clean Elections, well, if it doesn’t have any dough, it will be the bull that went into the chute on Pierce’s rach – and came out a soprano-singing steer.

Tom Collins, Executive Director of Clean Elections, doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Why not, Tom? Well, Clean Elections was set up by voters as an inducement to wean politicians from the kinds of teats proffered up by the Koch Brothers and other dark money types.

It was a voter-approved initiative, so if ya wanna mess with it, you need two-thirds votes in the House and Senate, Collins rudely pointed out.

Pish-Tosh, sez Pierce and his fellow legislative traveler, J.D. Mesnard.  It seems Mesnard would prefer the obvious approach. Don’t just gut Clean Elections. Put the damn thing out of its misery by asking voters to eliminate it.

3.If you can’t gut it, why not co-opt it?

While some try to eliminate Clean Elections, others are thinking, well, why not just put it under the thumb of some good (Republican) elected official?

That way, any Clean Elections Funding can be used to enforce election laws and whitewash prosecute any violations. If that leaves no money for Clean Elections, well, them’s the breaks.

This idea is being floated by unnamed GOPers. Instead of eliminating the damn thing, why not just turn it over to the Secretary of State’s Office, which has been in Republican hands since … Rose Mofford, who replaced the immortal Ev Mecham in 1986.

Is it legal? I mean, wouldn’t that violate the intent of voters? Probably. But when has that ever stopped the AZ Lege from doing what it damn well pleased?

4. Judges? We don’t care ’bout no stinking’ judges!

Last, and certainly not the least, there’s a buzz in the hallowed (padded) halls of the Lege that negotiations on settling a school-funding lawsuit  are a stacked deck.

This, for those of you hiding in caves, involves yet another voter-approved mandate requiring the Lege to cover the ravages of inflation when it comes to school funding. At stake is about $300 million to $1 billion, depending on which accountant you employ.

The courts have already ruled that this law was violated. But Guv Cold Stones and his legislative stooges say they didn’t have to obey the law when money was tight, and tax breaks for rich dudes needed to be doled out.

Why should the lege obey the law? If they decide they don’t have the cabbage to fund schools AND coddle rich people, who’s to tell them otherwise?

So, if those negotiations don’t go the way they’re supposed to, well, let them judges take off those black robes and MAKE AZ pay the money that’s owed!

Yup. Maybe Marbery vs. Madison established back in 1803 that the courts had the power to interpret the constitutionality of actions by the legislative and executive branches, but that-there’s federal law! We’re the state of AZ! We do things differently.

Now apparently saner (comparatively speaking) lawmakers may head off that one, but it’s being openly discussed in the Lege.

So, boys and girls, Those are four reasons why we’re all in trouble now that the Super Bowl is done. It’s also evidence that our Legislature is a cesspool that badly needs to be drained – as if that will ever happen.







Closed Caucus

Well, they went and did it.

Your Arizona House, that body that YOU elected to make the laws of this-here state, doesn’t want you to watch the sausage-grinding that goes into writing the law.

The House voted along party lines today, with all the Rs voting “heck yeah,” and all them commie-pinko Dems voting “hell no!” to close their caucus meetings to the prying eyes of the pesky public

It seems that they want privacy when they’re twisting arms, poking eyes, and using anal feeding sessions to bully convince recalcitrant members to get with the Conservative program!

I mean, we can’t have the public witnessing such a messy business. Sometimes things get a little … raw.

Now, the Rs are saying this is no big deal. I mean it’s not like they ignore the will of the voter when they want to pass a law – except that they do, as has been shown time and time again.

And the Dems, well they’re saying they will keep their caucus open – as if anyone cares what they think.

Ah, so what? say the Rs who rule your Legislature. A caucus is just one tiny part of the process. There’s committee meetings (in which witnesses allowed to offer testimony are often limited to a loose screws that either wrote or “assisted” in writing some screwy “model” legislation). And then they vote – though funny things often happen after something clears the committee.

The Dems? Oh, once again those pesky wimps are  a minority).

Well, then there’s the votes on the floor, where everyone gets to stand up and ‘splain why they voted – after all the arguments are hashed out in … you guessed it … them closed caucuses – followed by beatings and threats that line up the necessary votes.

So when the Dimmocrats and their media comrades whine about an open process, why they’re just grand standing!

Actually the GOPers have a point, kinda. In caucus people get to mouth off, and reveal that they’re not on board. The torture convincing goes on behind closed doors.

So what do you people want? An open process? Why, that just complicates a stacked deck, and puts a little rouge and mascara on a hunk of pig that some lobbyist or Koch-connected organization has  already written.

So move along, people. Nothing’s changed. It’s the same old game, in which the (Koch) money talks, and everyone else can just take a walk.

Nope. Nothing to see.

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